After my last post on National Adoption Day, I thought of a couple of things that I wish I would have mentioned.
I saw that a friend, who is a foster parent, had Liked my post on Facebook and immediately realized I needed to change my summary paragraph. I had neglected to add “foster parents” to my list of people who could use some encouragement–so I went back and added that immediately.
Later that day, as I was driving to an appointment, I turned on the radio to hear a woman speaking of the son whom she chose to place for adoption, and I immediately realized my next oversight.
The words “birth mother” or “birth parent(s)” can be hard words to utter in the beginning stages of adoptive parenting–especially amongst parents who have adopted internationally, I believe. But once we got over that hurdle and just started saying the words and using them with our children, it became easier and more commonplace. I feel that it’s a very important thing to do, right from the beginning, so our children can begin to process who they are. It also encourages trust and open communication, so our kids know that there is no subject that they need to fear broaching with us.
Although many of us may never know what circumstances led to our kids being left without parents or placed for adoption, we can all agree that, regardless of what other choices they made in their lives, birth mothers chose to give birth to their/our babies, rather than ending their lives in utero, and for that choice, we will always be grateful beyond words.
So with that in mind, may we also remember birth mothers during this National Adoption Month, and be supportive of the many young women who are making the choice to carry and birth their babies, and place them in the waiting arms of others, when they could have been swayed to do otherwise. That is an incredibly brave and selfless choice–worthy of much respect and gratitude.